On the 5th March this year, I watched a movie that made me want to cry. Made me look around the cinema looking for the ghost of Jeremy Beadle with a big fake moustache and a camera in hand. I was so sure that "One For The Money" was a joke and not a movie that I spent the first 15 minutes thinking it was a prank. Sadly for me and the other 6 people in the cinema, it was not. As a would-be screenwriter who is told many times over that Hollywood is almost impossible to break into, and that getting your film off the ground and into the cinema is a long and difficult process, I sat there thinking "How did this shit get made?". You don't need to be a script-doctor or an experienced film-maker to see how dire it was. And "Elfie Hopkins" is sadly another.
The story is not exactly inspiring - a young and aspiring detective investigates the mysterious goings on with her neighbours, set in some rich sleepy village where everyone goes hunting and rides horses and wears jodpurs. If it sounds like an Agatha Christie / Miss Marple story, then you wouldn't be far wrong. So with a weak story you would then be hoping for good acting. Step forward Jaime Winstone. Outstanding in "Kidulthood", and with dad Ray on producing duties, you think this film is in safe hands. Hands that know how to act. But no. If they ever give awards for over-acting (Oscars, BAFTAS) then Jaime Winstone will win hands down. With an accent that makes me want her to have a good cough she frowns and screws her face up all the way through the movie. One minute she spies the neighbours moving in, the next it's "Dylan, the investigation is on!". Why? For the life of me I could not see anything mysterious about people moving in. So before you know it, there is our Elfie and side-kick Dylan, looking through their neighbours bins in the next scene (no, it's not a comedy, your not supposed to laugh).
From the hammy cameo from Ray Winstone as a butcher to the ludicrous plot revelation that the neighbours are *pause* cannibals, that same thought creeps back into your mind - "How the hell did this shit get made?". The answer is no doubt down to Ray Winstone's support and backing of the movie, but if this is the cream of British script talent, then guys, we have a chance of getting our scripts made - because nothing can be as bad as this movie. Rating - 2/10. And it only gets a 2 because I have a soft spot for women in jodpurs. Only watch if you have to.
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ReplyDeleteI deleted my first comment because i ranted a little, I'm calmer now. This is the only review i have commented on because i think it raises some great questions. For one: how did this film get made. Well by a director that realised the hole process of getting a film made, one that went out, got money attached a great cast, had an original idea and style to approach it. It does take a long time, took me four years. 20% of the time being creative the over 80% smashing down door's. This is the reality and work it takes, you don't just write a script these days from the safety of your home and it get's picked up. Also when you do have a script that people want to make, lost of voices come in and change things. Then you have budget restraints, we had the budget they have for an episode of eastender, no probably less! three weeks. Now i proud as a film maker i got my self into the position to make a film and get it out there, it's the first thing i'v ever done, now I'm a film maker, one thats been in cinemas. Now i may not be the best but i have taken the first baby steps to honing my skills, like in any job you have to work on your skills. I also took a different step from the normal british films which takes balls. Now i know the films not perfect but rather than just attack, your saying your a so called film make unstained how hard this process is and support in the development of young crews, and film makers, so they can learn and develop to one day be like the great film makers. It fair another to hide behind your computer say why are so many british films this way, because some people dare to do stuff to push the market, and fight with the tiny budgets to at least start being a film maker, but if the film community docent even understand the reality of the process then how can we build a decent indie film scene. Look at what are film makes have achieved and will go on to make. But with out nurture from over film makers and reviews we're all fucked. Saying id do better from safety of your computer is not great, review the film what you like don't like fair enough. But to think you'd do better with out knowing what involved is throw awayAnd if you really want to be in the industry, you should lead by example and support . I would like to add, i can get a film made, and yes a great script would be good, so if you have one i'd love to read it! Big love
ReplyDeleteMany thanks for your comments. I highly appreciate the time you have taken to give feedback to my review (I assume you will be giving similar responses to the reviews on rotten tomatoes, The Guardian, IMDB, SkyMovies and a host of other higher profile review sites,which said far worse things from 'the safety of your computer'???). In all seriousness, I do thank you for your feedback. Not a lot of successful film directors would bother or take the time, and it is refreshing to get an insider's view. I agree with most of what you say. There are a few things I must point out though. Firstly, the comment regarding supporting the UK film industry. I think you are totally right. People should show their support. And the fact that I actually chose to see "Elfie Hopkins" over a host of other movies, paid my hard earned cash to see it, and watched it beginning to the end is my way of supporting the film industry. Same goes for "Wild Bill", "Payback Season", "Outside Bet", "Ecstasy", as well as looking forward to "Tower Block" and "Now is Good". Hands up who can say they have watched these films?? So while I understand your annoyance at my review, I believe you should direct it at those who didn't see the movie. Those are the very people who are not supporting the movie industry. Same goes for the cinema bosses who put these movies at awkward times (I had to wait till 10:45pm to see Elfie Hopkins, and 11pm for Ecstasy less than a week after released - not exactly making it easy). We welcome comments to any of our reviews on LiterallyGeeking, and despite not appreciating what I said, there is one old adage that I have to remind you of - there is no such thing as bad publicity. Imagine typing "Elfie Hopkins" into Google, and nothing coming up because nobody was talking about it. That's what we are doing here, and it's fantastic. Good luck in your next project, I truly mean that.
ReplyDeleteJAMIE BALL SAYS:
ReplyDeleteThis is just nonsense.
Yet another terrible film from the beleaguered British film industry. Another "kooky" take on British life, once again hammering home stereotypes for the rest of the world to scoff at.
Why can't we make proper films anymore ? We've done so in the past... Citing "ecstasy" as an example of small scale cinema isn't a good idea, either, it's on at 11pm not because it's "niche" but because it's "shit". Simple as that. If you think that "Ecstasy" was a well made and not >UTTERLY CONTRIVED< piece of totally cynical filmmaking then you're wrong. For good, BRITISH attitude and style there's plenty of films around. No doubt I don't need to name them for you being as you're clearly an (ahem) expert on british cinema, right ?
Anyways, back to this whole Elfie debacle.
This film has received bad reviews all over the shop, so I don't really understand why the director seems to feel that he/she deserves any form of encouragement for that. Nurturing ? Apros pos of what ? So you can go off and make another film of this quality whilst labouring under the severe misapprehension that you're doing something GOOD ? No thanks.
You think you deserve a pat on the back just for making a film ? Regardless of the content/quality ? That's not correct and smacks of the "we all need to stick together and present a united front of whimsical rubbish" attitude that's gotten the British film industry into the state it's in today. Stack your film against other non-hollywood productions, ones that people actually say are GOOD, and count the myriad of failings in your own work...
If you are annoyed by this film being pilloried across the internet, perhaps you should have not made it so badly (or at all) ? It's quite a simple tradeoff, really, if you make a good film - people say good things about it. No-one "has it in for you" here, people are just saying what they believe. There's no NEED for a film such as yours in todays marketplace and that is the main crime of it. Regardless of your budget being "less than eastenders" you're still able to work your brain for free, right ? Surely that should have been making noises along the lines of "ALARM ALARM ALARM" ?
To end your comment with "i can get films made". Well. We'll see how long that lasts for.
Actually i agree, better go write a better script this time, and hope for better reviews. Im just starting my second feature script Black Unicorn
ReplyDeleteand learning from Elfie it's such a different venture, i hope you guys follow my progress.
cheers x