As I sat
comforting my wife, to which there was no end, I knew I had to search for
supplies for the group right away.
“Joan, I have to
go. I have to find anything that could be useful for the next few days” I said
trying not to offend her.
She was offended.
“Am I not as
important to you Ben?” She yelled her eyes red from the tears.
“You know that’s
not true, but I have to do this! For all of us.” I stood up and started with
the bedroom. Searching for anything that could be used.
“Why bother
Ben? We’re all dead already and you
fucking know it!” Joan turned towards me with venom.
I knew she was
right, but how could I admit that to the same people that were depending on me
to help them. Not only friends, but my family, who would just give up on
surviving and instead roll over and die.
“Joan, don’t say
those sorts of things! You’ll scare Jason!” I turned on her “Look, I need you
to trust me Joan, right now I have to go back to the kitchen and bring the
flashlights up. Just stay here and rest and I’ll come get you when or if
anything is happening”
I went to the
kitchen to find Colm and Alan beside a pile of food, water and candles. I could tell from looking at the supplies
that it was never going to be enough to last a week.
“Is that all you
could find?”
They exchanged a
look, Alan shook his head and sighed “We searched everywhere, but this is
everything we could find from the supply room and all the bedrooms.”
Colm stepped
forward “We were due a delivery next week, so this was all that was left until
that came which I guess we can rule out over coming now?” Said Colm with an
edge of humour which was limited during those times but always refreshing.
I nodded, it was
bad “It’s the best you two could do and I appreciate the help. I’m heading down
to Paul to see if he’s had any more luck” I started walking, yelling over my
shoulder “but gather everyone for when I get back because we have decisions to
make as a group.”
I headed down to
Paul hoping for a miracle, that everything was going to be fine and we’d live
happily ever after, but I was only entertaining the idea so I wouldn’t crack. I
already knew what we had to do next, but including the group in the choice
would comfort them that it was the right decision and not the only one. I
hoped.
I miss roaming
those corridors; the colours are so white it’s relaxing. I did always wonder
how they never looked dirty for being such a bright white. It was one floor
below to Paul but I took the long route just so it delayed the answer I knew I
would get, and I could live in my dream happiness for a few minutes longer.
Eventually I arrived at the communications room to see Paul with his head on
the keyboard as if he was sleeping, but he wasn’t.
“Paul?” I whispered
As I walked
closer I could see the blood around his feet on the floor. I turned his head so
I could see his pale motionless face, his eyes gazed at me but with no life. It
was then that I saw the knife on the floor in a pool of blood. His throat was
slit so deep he would have died in seconds. All I could think of was how this
would affect everything for us. I didn’t think of Paul and what he went
through, only what it would mean for the people upstairs who were alive. It
might sound selfish but when you’re in a crisis you think of the people who are
standing beside you and trying to help the situation. I didn’t think I would
get so cold so fast but when it comes to my family’s safety everyone else is in
second place.
“Paul, you
stupid bastard!” I cried out as I stood over his body, lying on the keyboard. I
believed Paul was a big part of us surviving. He was a strong person and I
never predicated this to happen. I have found that the manner in the way a man
talks and acts are two completely different things. I was so angry at him for
doing that to me, he knew I needed him, if only he had confined in me with his
problems. I moaned into my hands “How will I tell the others?”
I left the room
fast and headed back upstairs to the kitchen where the others were being
gathered. I would have to break the news to them, I couldn’t hide Paul or too
many questions would be asked. I reached the kitchen to find everyone there
talking amongst themselves; I felt like this could not get any worse, any time
I speak to these people I have nothing but bad news for them. They all looked
at me with hopeful eyes as if I had all the solutions to everything that was
happening around us.
“Ben, is this
all the supplies we have?” screeched Mary in a tone only she could use.
“Yes Mary, but
we have another matter to attend to first.” I turned to the rest of them “What
I’m going to tell you will be a shock” an audible groan went round the room “but
please remember that we are all in this together” I tried not to sound too scared.
“Ben, what’s
going on?” Joan said, her face still red and swollen from the tears.
“Paul killed
himself” the group fell silent “in the communication room. I just found him
while I was checking for a response” I tried not to make eye contact with
anyone.
I got the usual
response that anyone would give, which was to ask questions, to try and understand
the situation. The truth was that no one was ever going to understand why Paul
did what he did, only understand that he was gone and that we had to move on
and look after ourselves. However, there is no easy way to say that to a group
of people who all knew Paul and were devastated by his death. The whole
situation just made everyone realise that death was a real threat and it might
only be a matter of time before it got to them.
“He shall not
enter heaven” Mary said, a disturbing smirk on her face.
“Mary” I turned
on her “now is not the time for your nonsense or opinions. We have to remain
objective for our own safety and decide the next course of action” I stepped
forward in a demanding manner, as they needed a leader now more than ever.
“We should at least
bury him” Said Alan, trembling with shock
“We’d have to go
outside to do that” Joan pointed out.
“Well, judging
by our supplies, we have to go outside sooner rather than later.” I stepped
past her “I don’t want to have to wait until there’s no food left before we go
searching outside.” A few nods of agreement “We have three radiation suits here
that we could use” I tried to sound positive, adopting an attitude to try and
help keep their spirits up, unsure if it was working or not.
“You should not
venture outside, Ben” Mary clutched the crucifix that hung round her neck “it’s
a bad idea, it’s not the same place we remember from before.”
“It’s the only
option, Mary” I started out of the room “or we can stay inside while we run out
of food and water. We have to try and do something. “
I shouted out to
the men around me “Colm and Alan, I need you two to come with me outside. I
can’t guarantee anything but you’ll be helping out a lot.”
“Ben! You can’t
be serious about going! What about our son and me! “Joan shouted in disbelief
and anger.
“I have to go Joan;
there is not much choice in the matter. I am doing this for you and Jason” I
didn’t have time to explain or convince Joan of my actions, I just knew what I
needed to do. We had to get Paul and bury his body before it was too late and
the smell of death travelled around what was an already scared and tense
atmosphere.
“Do what you
want as usual!” Joan snapped in her cynical tone, intent on making me stay, but
I couldn’t
The three of us
headed down to the communications room to move Paul. I brought some spare
sheets to cover his body, but all we had were white, which was not going to be
good with all this blood around. We had no choice but to stand in the blood, picking
Paul up from the chair while trying not to retch. His body was already cold and
stiff but we could manage between the three of us. It’s an upsetting view, to
see a person you consider a friend to be lying, motionless and pale, on the
blood covered floor with his throat cut open wide enough to fit a finger inside.
I never imagined he would do this to himself, even in times like this. I guess
you don’t know a person until their back’s against the wall.
Colm had some
trouble dealing with the situation and could not seem to hold it in “I’m gonna
throw up!” Colm cried, clutching his hand over his mouth, his eyes so wide they
seemed to extend from his face in panic.
I wrapped the sheets over the front of his
body and struggled with Colm and Alan to get him in to the air, staggering through
the white wall corridors, now spattered in blood which seemed to be leading a trail
to a disgusting surprise. The hardest part was trying to carry Paul up the stairs;
they are practically vertical, which is not the best way to move a dead body.
It was, however, our only option.
“Come on Colm, we’re nearly done, just grab
a leg so we can get this done.” I groaned in the most pleasant way I could when
holding my dead friend by the arms. Colm was beyond helping so I had to climb
to the top of the stairs while Alan tried to lift Paul up in my direction, but
he was too heavy to lift up. With Colm unable to assist us and Alan not being
strong enough, I went to get a rope to tie to Paul and pull him up using a
modified pulley system. Eventually I found a rope in the supplies that we found
around Trinty X1. Alan tied it to Paul’s legs as both me and Alan pulled Paul
up by the arms, which was not the best way to transport the body but it was all
we could do at that moment for him. We had to carry the body through the kitchen
to the main door in order to get outside. Trying to hide the body from the others
was near impossible and, to be honest, the least of our worries. We carried
Paul through to the kitchen area; Me carrying him by his arms and Alan, with a
bit of support from a very ill Colm, had his legs. Even though the body was
wrapped in sheets, they were white and the blood was coming through which
unsettled some of the others. Mary as usual was hovering around the kitchen
counters, looking for something to look at or annoy, while Joan and Jason were
in our bedroom avoiding the situation.
“You can’t go outside” Cried Mary as if she
knew what was out there
“Not now Mary, this is not getting any easier
to carry” I mumbled, struggling to carry the body of my dear friend. We came to
the lift that would bring us up to the front entrance, the biggest lift door
I’ve ever seen. Well above six feet high with the clear, shiny surface. It was
nearly as good as a mirror, so when the lift doors opened you sometimes got a
fright because you forgot it was even a lift. It was not used much as we stayed
underground for months on end and the only time it was used was when we got
supplies once a month, but we never seen anyone actually come down the lift. Well
never people, just food, but that would change.
“Ok, drop Paul here and we’ll go get the
radiation suits on”
“I thought it was safe outside by now” Alan
cast a sidelong glance at Paul on the floor.
“We might as well be safe just in case.” I
wiped blood from my hands “we still don’t know the full effect of the earth’s
damage.”
We suited up, which would only make the
carrying harder, but we didn’t have far to travel. We stood in the lift going
up, I don’t know what Alan and Colm were thinking, but I was terrified. We had
not been outside for months and then was not the most ideal time to go
exploring and bury a dead body. It felt like we were heading out into a new
world of the unknown because that’s what it was. I thought maybe we would find
help from somewhere or the when the doors opened there would be the military
waiting for us with open arms and food, but that was not the case. So many
scenarios ran through my mind, it felt like a very long minute to the top. I
could swear the doors opened in slow motion just to be dramatic.
The doors opened up to devastation; there
was nothing left outside our base. The ground was dry like a desert with no
life forms in site. We walked out from the lift in shock, we even forgot about
Paul, and stood looking out at the dark dry land. The ground was dark brown
like it had recently burned and there were no trees left, or even bushes. There
was nothing in front of us that we could see, but we didn’t have time to go
further and find out more.
“Where will we bury him?” Asked Alan who
looked like he wanted to jump back into the lift and go straight back down. I
scanned the area around us “We’ll just bury him over by that little hill” I
pointed towards the one I meant to clarify as it was a bumpy place with a lot
of hills and bumps throughout the mountain side.
We carried Paul over to the hill and placed
him on the ground. I stayed with him as Alan and Colm headed back down to Trinty
X1 to get shovels, we couldn’t carry everything at once. I wish one of them
would have stayed with me but they were both so terrified and I don’t blame
them. They were a lot younger than me so I felt it my duty to protect them. As
I was waiting on them to come back I walked over the hill to try and see if I
could see anything moving, any sign of life at all to show some sign of hope
that I could bring back to the group. As I walked down the hill I turned left
which lead me to a pebble path that was going down. I followed the path as I
looked around it was the same scenery everywhere. Darkness everywhere and a
dusty sky filled with clouds. There were still cockroaches but they were all
running up the hill towards me like something was chasing them. That’s when I
saw it, these things that can’t be categorized as anything I know or have seen before.
They were thing’s, and they were coming right for me, about two hundred feet
from me. I stood and stared in sheer fear of them, they were so dark, like they
had been burned so badly, but they still didn’t melt. I thought, at least, they
used to be humans, but only the fact they were walking on what seemed like legs
was all that resembles them as humans. They had no faces, hair or clothing;
they were just big black blotches that did not look like they were coming to
rescue anyone. When they spotted me they all stopped at the exact same time,
looking right at me with their blank heads, or at least I think they did
because right after that they all let out an ear-piercing scream. Just as they
did I saw one pick up a cockroach and shove it into what might have once been a
mouth but it was no longer anything a human would have. The whole jaw dropped
down and acted as a mouth as if a human mouth was not big enough for the things
it has to eat. I stood for what seemed like minutes, staring and afraid to make
any sudden move. There were at least ten of them facing me as it started to get
darker, which seemed impossible as it was so dull already.
I would soon realise what these things were
capable of, but for now I had one thing on my mind and that was to run as fast
as I could up the hill and into the left to Trinty X1. But nothing is ever that
easy in this life.
