The Anti-Oscars

It’s not often an Adam Sandler movie gets me thinking. I find it hard enough to even entertain the idea of watching him in anything that isn’t Happy Gilmore. But as many people out there in Literally Geeking land will know, thanks to relentless TV adverts, he has a new movie coming out called Jack and Jill (creative), and from what I can ascertain it’s about a male transvestite prostitute with split personality disorder that Al Pacino picks up and who subsequently begins to destroy his home.

Perhaps it’s based on a true story

So Jill Sandler destroys Al Pacino’s Academy Award playing a bit of stickball, although I’m sure we’re all thinking that Pacino had a different game of stickball in mind eh? Ordinarily that kind of thing would be heartbreaking for an actor but I have a feeling Pacino knew he deserved it. Not for picking up an ugly male cross dresser, we’ve all been there, but because he wasn’t allowed to hand his Oscar back after he attended the screening for ‘The Recruit’. I mean for the sake of ever letting myself watch Scarface again he must have tried to...he had to.

Little ironic that he won the damn thing

for ‘Scent of a Woman’ eh?

Now whilst I agree that he earned that Oscar for making Chris O’Donnell cry,  I just don’t think Razzies go far enough to punish his later choices. What we really need is an all new anti-award ceremony to take away Oscars from the actors who go on to make the kinds of lame movies only toddlers and serious meth addicts could enjoy or the ones that completely rely on star power and shrewd advertising to even get people to show up.

So in no particular order here are the “Winners” of  my 

‘Take that Award and Shove it up Your Pooper’ 

– Former Best Actors Edition of Anti-Oscars

Dustin Hoffman

I’m going to have to call bullshit on ‘Sphere’ and take back one of your Oscars. Only out of pure pity will I let you keep your other one after your involvement in the Focker franchise. Honestly I’d rather believe that Tom Cruise converted you to Scientology and that you’d spent the last 20 years building your own personal space ship than that you went on to make that putrid science fiction drivel...oh wait...nevermind. 

Robert De Niro

I’m sensing a Focker pattern here but no. One of your two Oscars is getting sold for scrap to repay me for the Shitfest that was ‘Limitless’. Ok I didn’t actually pay to see it but in a way I did, I paid for it with every dead braincell that movie gave me. Maybe you could try some of those smarty sugar pills before deciding on what to be in next time.

Anthony Hopkins

I wish I could take your Oscar off of you for work prior to receiving your Silence of the Lambs accolade but it wouldn’t be sporting and neither would picking on you for your Mission Impossible 2 Crapeo. Even if all that black paint in Othello was just incredibly painful to look at and gave me absolutely no interest in the Bard. No I’m taking yours for ‘Instinct’. We had to sit there waiting for you to say a line for an hour, to say I was bored is to understate the matter. I’m glad you ran off back into the jungle you dull hippy.

Ben Kingsley

Ghandi was great, truly great! So what the fuck were you doing in Prince of Persia? No good has ever come from a video game movie and I don’t believe you needed the money for Oscar polish and you definitely wont in a minute. If only the sands of time could take me back to before I saw that movie and let me slide my throat along the blade before I saw you shame yourself.

Nicolas Cage

Just everything. How the hell did you even get an Oscar for 'Leaving Las Vegas'? They could have told me I'd be watching Nicolas Cage's actual life and I wouldn't have twigged it wasn't reality TV till the credits rolled.  As for your recent movies. Do you accept scripts by having them thrown at you and seeing what sticks? You batshitty movie whore!

Geoffrey Rush

Whatever reason you had for voicing a part in Green Lantern will never be good enough. That film tore a hole in the fabric of the established Green Lantern Universe and just being a part of it is enough to convince any hitman who ever owned a comic to hunt you down for less than the cost of that guy in ‘Faster’(someone give The Rock an Oscar). But I’d do it for free, except to Reynolds, that man is hot and is forgiven.

Feel free to suggest others in the comments. But please...keep it hateful and full of bile.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Hunter S. Thompson: a genius known for his crazy Gonzo-style journalism, love of booze, hallucinogenics and guns, and his forages into politics; has been depicted in film both directly and indirectly - most recently in The Rum Diary, released on DVD on March 5th.

I first came to be aware of Thomson through Johnny Depp's portrayal of him (under the persona of 'Raoul Duke') in Terry Gilliam's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. A film both hilarious and slightly unnerving, as it shows the dark side of the glitzy Las Vegas. What made this film so special was Depp's over the top performance...although he was not characterising Thomson himself per se, and without having read any of Thomson's work I still felt as if I knew much about his personality. After reading the text it was made clear to me that he was quite a character, and the cartoon images which adorned the covers of his books really seemed to reflect how he had come to be recognised.

My next encounter was the 1980 film Where the Buffalo Roam, starring Bill Murry as Thomson, and concentrating mainly on the 1972 presidential election. Although Thomson himself is said to have disliked this film, I thought Murry did an excellent job at playing the man behind the caricature persona, capturing his mannerisms to perfection.

Eventually, after his unfortunate suicide in 2005, the documentary Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thomson was released. This was narrated by Depp and included footage of Thomson from his best years, along with touching anecdotes from friends such as former president Jimmy Carter. Gonzo provided a great insight to the person Hunter really was, showing both his wild and softer side...as well as highlighting how much he meant and how greatly he is missed by those interviewed.

This brings us to the latest adaptation, The Rum Diary. Whilst not actually playing Thomson, Depp (again) takes another stab at his work. Noticeably, Depp uses the same accent as he does in Fear and Loathing, though his overall performance is flat and wooden. The film looks beautiful against the Puerto Rican landscape, but ultimately is a poor and unimaginative take on one of the smartest, funniest and original writers of the last century.

My Week With Marilyn Q+A: Kenneth Branagh

Ahead of the upcoming Academy Awards ceremony, here is an interview with Kenneth Branagh on My Week With Marilyn - of which he is nominated for 'Best Supporting Actor in a Supporting Role', courtesy of ArcLight:

2012 PREVIEW: PROMETHEUS

My first and strongest love is science fiction. It saddens me then that the last few years have been a bereft of high caliber science fiction movies. I suppose all the big bucks are in comic book adaptations like the Dark Knight franchise or the ever expanding Marvel universe When I first heard that Ridley Scott was returning to the Alien universe I was cautiously excited. Ridley Scott is a master of his art and he has made some of the greatest science fiction movies of all time (Blade Runner and the original Alien) however I feel like he has been treading water stylistically in recent years with films ranging from the average (Body of Lies) to the downright terrible (Robin Hood). The Alien franchise itself has let me down pretty badly over the last few years as well by becoming a watered down parody of itself in those bloody awful AVP movies. Then, on Dec 22nd, I saw the official teaser trailer and I almost wet myself.

This movie looks amazing. Scott has assembled a stellar cast including Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender and Guy Pierce. The design looks gobsmacking. The tone looks dark, scary and above all serious. Writer Damon Lindelof has stated that while the story is set in the same universe as the Alien franchise it is not a true prequel. Perhaps we should not be expecting to see any chest bursters on this one then. However with the fleeting appearance of the space jockey and the title animation echoing Alien's title sequence it is clear that the connections are there. Scott is working hard on this, presenting Fox with a PG-13 cut as well as an R Rated one. Fingers crossed, this summer I could get the high caliber, high concept science fiction flick that I have been yearning for.

A No Brainer

After seeing “Coriolanus”, “The Artist” and “Margin Call” in the last week, my head was aching for something I didn’t need to think about, and with the movie “Haywire” that’s exactly what it is. You can pop your brain out of its leaky bag and place it on the bedside table because you really won’t need it. Predictable, straightforward and action packed with a dubious cameo from Michael Douglas (but it’s great to see him looking great after his health issues) “Haywire” is everything you can imagine to be. Not exactly breaking the mould with the betrayed-agent-on-the-run-gets-revenge story, “Haywire” is about Mallory Kane, a woman who carries out various covert operations for the benefit of the U.S. government, but guess what – she’s betrayed! Shock horror! Then follows the predictable kicking of ass (there is an element of pleasure in seeing Channing Tatum get beaten up) before the eventual redemption at the end.

("God damn you Ewan for refusing to do the sequel to Trainspotting!")

Former kick-boxing champ Gina Carano is a great lead, with strong support from Michael Fassbender (already a contender for my actor of 2012) and Ewan McGregor, this film is easy on the mind and the eyes. In the flurry of Oscar nominations (no “Drive”? no “Shame”?) this is one film that won’t be getting any awards but deserves a watch. Good for a Friday night at the cinema but nothing more. 6.5/10

The sound of silence

Apologies for delay in this review as I know the film has been out for a couple of weeks now.

The Artist concerns a silent movie star at the height of his career and the trials and tribulations of moving into sound based movies or 'talkies'.
We also witness the relationship between the main star, George Valentin and Peppy Miller and up and coming actress, who was made for the big screen. As she flourishes in the advent of 'talkies' we see George lose everything as his career falls apart.
What sets this apart from other romantic comedy dramas...everything. The fact that it is shot in black and white and a mainly silent film are the obvious choices but alongside this you have the acting for starters. Jean (George) has one of the most infectious smiles I've seen in a long time and brilliantly conveys the charm and pride he feels whilst at the top of his game. Then you have Berenice (Peppy), whose love for George gives us a sense of hope throughout the film, alongside her fun nature and innocence within the filmmaking business add to the feel good element of the film.
I also really appreciated the cinematography throughout the film. There was a couple of extremely clever camera moves but for the most part it was just very well composed, almost photographically at times with the editing backing up the well placed shots. The score should also get a mention, as this at times acts as, as much of a storyteller as the narrative itself. Brilliantly composed, heartbreaking at times and it will have you reaching for your tap shoes by the end.
In general the story itself is cleverly put together with some stand out scenes that take the essence of silent movies with out being too over the top. A couple of scenes which stand out in which Peppy tries on Georges Jacket in his dressing room and when the two have a 'dance off' on either side of a background sheet from the set.
I feel I have to mention the dog in the film, as he seems to be as popular as the film itself. Without doubt one of the best dog characters in a film since...Beethoven, adding cleverly to the comedy as well as the drama.
All in all The Artist is an original film in every sense of the word and reminds us that even a simple romantic premise can still reach every emotion the audience has at the ready.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Q+A's

As one of the most acclaimed films from 2011 is released on DVD next week, here are some Q+A videos of the cast and director courtesy of ArcLight:

ROLL ON 2012!

It is the curse of the amateur screenwriter to sit through a movie and then come out thinking “I could have done better than that”.  Who didn’t think that when seeing “Drive Angry”, “Season Of The Witch” or basically any Nicolas Cage movie from the last year (come on Nic your better than this!)?  To trawl through the ridiculous levels of sequels, remakes, reboots and adaptations of 2011 to come up with a winner is not easy by half.  “Get Low” and “Blue Valentine” were for me, the cream of original movies in ’11, with “Drive” being the best adaptation.  So how do you go about choosing the best for 2012?  There are three categories – the box office hit (whether it’s crap or not does not matter for the production companies), the middle of the road movie which could be hated or loved, and the critically acclaimed movie which will be on the bones of its arse to scrape the budget back. 

 Let’s get the big box office hits out the way.  The 2 which spring to mind is “The Avengers” and “The Dark Knight Rises”.  Whilst “The Avengers” will go great business, I’m pretty confident in saying that “The Dark Knight Rises” will break the $1billion mark, as well as being critically acclaimed.  Everyone will see this movie, and judging by Christopher Nolan’s previous two efforts, quite rightly so.  The middle of the road hits to look out for, include a Tom Cruise effort.  I’m a big fan, growing up in the 80’s I could lip sync “Top Gun” to perfection, but even I’m not sure how “Rock Of Ages” will be taken.  Definitely one of them “you’ll either hate it or love it” films, I’m backing this one to do well.  Another possible hit that I’m backing is “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” (yes, another adaptation).  I first saw the poster and description of this film back in November in New York and remember getting goose bumps.  Starring Tom Hanks it’s a chance for him to say sorry for the pointless bland that was “Larry Crowne”.  Any movie set against the backdrop of 9/11 is always going to powerful and has to tread delicately, and I think this one does.  Which leaves me with the film that I like personally, probably won’t make much money, but is great in terms of acting and story (hopefully!).  “Shame” would have been written here, but I feel it’s a bit late to shout about it when it’s already been out for a few weeks.  Instead, I’m going for “The Life Of Pi”.  To be released in December, this is based on the 

wonderful story by Yann Martell that I read a decade ago.

 So after I have moaned about adaptations I go and choose one myself.  Well, yes I did, because when adaptations get it right, great movies come out of it, inspiring people to pick up the book.  “Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy”, “War Horse”, “Drive” and of course all the Harry Potter books, are just some examples of where movies get it right.  It’s a story worth telling, so I will have my fingers crossed that the studios treat it well, and it doesn’t end up with people leaving the cinema shaking their head.  If they can churn out “Scary Movie 5”, “Total Recall” and “Taken 2” (yes, all coming out this year) then they clearly have money to waste.

So all in all, remakes and reboots, sequels and adaptations are once again going to rule the roost.  Let’s just hope we have more movies like “Super 8” and “Drive”, than “Drive Angry” and “Season Of The Witch” (I mean, come on Nic! You’re an Oscar winner! Stop making shit films!).

DARREN RAE

You Can't Stop the Signal: Homage in Firefly and Serenity

Joss Whedon's short-lived sci-fi western show Firefly and its movie Serenity is set in a universe which combines the old with the new...sci-fi referring to a future setting and western to a lifestyle that is for the most part no longer relevant. Within this is displayed a number of characteristics which can be viewed as homage to classic films which make up the science fiction canon. Apart from the well known similarities between Captain Mal Reynolds and Star Wars' Han Solo, there are a host of other links to be acknowledged.

The vast plains the ship lands on are also reminiscent of those in Star Wars, as is the western style of dress worn by Mal, Zoe, and most of the main cast. Notably these are also aspects which can be seen in the final and  futuristic episode of Dollhouse, Epitaph Two.

However a contrast to this would be the large amount of Oriental symbolism, language and clothing depicted in the Firefly 'verse'. For myself, Orientalism in science fiction is a representation of mass growth and overpopulation. For example Ridley Scott's Blade Runner shows a world which has become so technologically advanced, overpopulated and polluted that its inhabitants are urged to seek a new life on the 'off-shore colonies'.

 In Firefly the earth's resources have also been used up, resulting in a move to other planets. Something that is also interesting however is that although we see hints of Orientalism in many of the casts outfits, it is Inara, a prostitute, who wears the finest Orient inspired clothes and has an elaborately decorated shuttle. This may be seen as another example of Whedon the feminist - creating a world where high class prostitutes are looked upon with awe and utmost respect.

Finally, aspects of the definitive sci-fi film, Alien, is also present in the Firefly verse. The ships in both are similar, flying through space in eerie silence. The meeting point for all on board Serenity is in the kitchen, where Ripley's crew also gather to converse.

 Unlike Alien and Blade Runner though, the Firefly universe is a hopeful place. There are elements of both utopia and dystopia, and no matter what situation this crew get themselves into there's always time for some comic relief.  Therefore although Whedon's creation owes a lot to the films mentioned above, its inspiring characters and mix of cultures place it in a more positive future where life seems to be worth the struggle.

Review : THE DARKEST HOUR (and a half...boom boom!)

Where to start with this colossal turd? (well...the beginning I guess) In the opening moments, as soon as the hapless Emile Hirsch opens his mouth with an attempt at wise-cracking over the "no mobile phones switched on when on a plane"situation, I hated him instantly. As he & his arsehole of a friend then arrive at Moscow airport & start musing over their fantastic enterprising internet idea that will surely make them millions & millions - I hated the pair of them equally. And as soon as we're introduced to that lassie from Juno & that Aussie one from Transformers prancing around Red Square displaying their obnoxious touristy behaviour, I hated EVERYONE I was supposed to empathise with for the films duration - bugger.

Yet even a set of loathsome characters may end up being a good thing if the film opts to put them through utter misery (casing point the Final Destination series), unfortunately though the only ones likely to suffer immensely through the Darkest Hour is the audience themselves. After 15 minutes of vile, imperialistic exposition; the aliens thankfully arrive & start killing everybody in sight - forcing our "heroes" to forget about any character arcs they've attempted to build up in the opening stages, switch into bland / personality-free "survivalist mode" and lock themselves in a kitchen cupboard alongside the routine cowardly, jerk-like figure who is obviously neither American or Russian & will inevitability perish in the later stages.

And then the boredom, OH THE BOREDOM! The following hour attempts to evoke the apocalyptic empty atmosphere defined by the likes of 28 Days Later, the Omega Man & Day Of The Triffids, yet instead creates the feeling you've been locked in a darkened room against your will for 4 weeks. We lurch from one tedious "lets go here" storyline to "actually no wait, let's go here instead" plot thread - meeting a collection of scarcely-drawn Russian's along the way who occasionally need a little dose of westernised wisdom in order to combat their cowardly, sexist Eastern bloc tendencies and behave appropriately in a crisis-ridden situation.

We'll even face the scenario of plot logic breathtakingly leaping out of the window over & over again. With electricity being the catalyst for the ridiculous outer space creations to impose their aggressive will against humanity; a character will freak out over a pocket radio being switched on yet she’ll be quite content with around a dozen lights illuminating the room that they find themselves in at the time. A singular bus amongst many will manage to take on a life of its own in a sort of Maximum Overdrive kind of way, despite the absence of a foot on the accelerator. We'll have a bunch of mobile phones that'll ring as warning signs despite nobody actually attempting to call them in the first place. Our heroes will invent a special gun that can kill the badly-rendered baddies yet will still resort to classic "Russian bullets" that previously failed. The characters will face a capsizing boat; propelling one of them to make it to shore & run a good 2 miles in the opposite direction of where they need to go (about the length of the average swimming pool), hide within a bus & launch a flare they previously had no knowledge of acquiring. And then the jewel on the crown of shite; despite the cataclysmic devastation wiping out much of the earth's power supply, a character will still manage to receive a text message on board a nuclear submarine - presumably their network provider wasn't O2?

All of this nonsense would be somewhat forgiveable if it were hilariously fun - it isn't. It’s a hateful exercise in boredom & Western consumerism disguised by the premise of an alien invasion flick. Its insistence on going “look there’s a McDonalds, a Starbucks, a shopping centre full of your favourite shops you’ll find back in the good ol’ US of freaking A – so you see, us Russian’s are just like you...but in Russian like, ya know?” is reminiscent of the worst possible tourist – the kind that goes to a foreign country yet only invests their money in everything they already have access to back home. The Darkest Hour? If only it felt that short....

1/5

Little Chunks of Awesome

#1 Kick-Ass

After a kind of aborted start to my Literally Geeking career following my Rare Exports post back before Christmas, this is me back with the first of two regular columns I'm hoping to debut this week.

I'll talk more about the second later (hopefully on Friday!), but right now it seems more pertinent to introduce 'Little Chunks of Awesome'. The goal of LCA (like my nifty little acronym? Just thought of that right there. That's the kind of mad improvisation skills you're going to get from my writing), is to take those little moments in films or from TV shows, tiny minutes long chunks, that within them distil what it was that made that film or show so great from my point of view. In future I may even tackle the opposite and look at moments that really offer, in microcosm, reasons why I see the films or shows as a failure.

Now originally, I had planned for the first instalment of this feature to look at Louis CK's amazing sitcom 'Louie' but, unfortunately, I was unable to pick just one moment of that show that I wanted to feature – largely because 'Duckling' was too obvious a choice and has already been talked about to death by columnists on other sites.

However, as luck would have it, this stopped being a problem when during some idle channel surfing on Friday afternoon I happened across an airing of Kick-Ass, Matthew Vaughn's 2010 superhero action-comedy.

It was the first time I had watched the film properly since I saw it in the cinema on release and, as much as I enjoyed it first time out, I think I got far more out of it this time round. However, the one thing that worried me as I watched was: will the strobe light rescue sequence hold-up?

The first time I saw the movie, that was the bit that really stood out for me. It was just a hugely impressive piece of cinema and, rendered on the big screen, the tension of it was almost unbearable – but, like, in the best way imaginable.

So, on TV, was it as good as I remembered?

No.

It was much better.

If there has been a more impressive sequence in any movie in the past few years, I don't know what it was.

Everything about this was spot on. The first person-shooter aspect at the start. The darkness. The strobe light. The fire. Nicolas Cage's anguished screams. John Murphy's score. And the editing, my God, the editing.

The sequence is knitted together so perfectly that you actually begin to fear for the villians and forget that they are up against a 10-year-old girl. It's like watching a horror movie where you're actively rooting for the monster, such is the atmospheric intensity of the whole thing.

It is the stand-out sequence in a movie which is not short on great sequences, in that it sells the action, but it also perfectly sells the emotional stakes and gives a real sense of pathos to an incredibly weird, and yet rather sweet, father-daughter relationship that has been built up throughout the movie by Cage and Chloe Grace Moretz.

More than anything though, it was at that point of the movie where I finally realised that Vaughn really had the chops in the director's chair. Layer Cake and Stardust had been OK, but nothing about them – beyond Daniel Craig's breakthrough performance in the former – had really stood out. However, you come out of Kick-Ass desperate to see what Vaughn would turn his hand to next.

Just a pity that turned out to be the underwhelming X-Men: First Class.

Anyway, I hope to be back on Friday with the first edition of Internet Movie Douchebag so, until then, try not to get yourself killed. I kind of like you.

A Love Letter to Malcolm Reynolds

Oh Malcolm Nathan Reynolds Fillion. I miss you. I admit I had no idea who you were when I first saw you quoting the gospel according to 'Psycho' in Buffy and the character itself put me off watching Firefly for a little while, but when I finally saw you for who you really were...I’m not ashamed to say I developed a bit of a man crush, hell I would probably let you have me.

If only because of the help you once gave me.

Now I’m a Star Trek man, born and raised, the holodeck’s are where I spent most of my days and back when Firefly was first out, the new Battlestar hadn’t yet graced our quaint televisions and I have to admit I was pretty stuck in my ways about what a captain was, who he was meant to be and just how good he was supposed to be with the ladies.

 Horatio Vaglicker 

YOU...ROCKED...MY...WORLD (I could rock yours). Too many times we’ve watched our valiant captains lose more and more men over recurring evil characters that could have been dealt with easily in the first episode, and gorramit when I saw you kick that first melodramatic SOB through your ships engine for threatening that same, very tedious scenario I swear my lazy left testicle finally dropped and provided the substance I needed to fill out this sweet banana hammock.

  How can you say no to me?

Yes I can see you with Anara 2.0 in Castle but it’s not the same (You look like you eat now). I miss watching you get shot, stabbed, beaten and tortured every week. I miss your charming dim wit and quaint Americana style. I miss seeing the only role model a man need ever have, getting back up, keeping it together and doing right by his family...or crew, because real men don’t have time for families (Isn’t that right Sulu?).

Remember son. Even if someone is trying to kill you and doing it 

very well, it’s ok to make fun of their hair.

I think we know too much time has passed for you to return to the series and they’d probably try to replace you with Chris Pine anyway. I assume you know this after valiantly telling fans to stop trying to buy the rights to the program but like you said at the time “I love to dream”, and we’ll always be dreaming of you. Much Love.

Oh Malcolm, Yo Crazy!

DVD Review: Drive

RELEASED: 30th JANUARY

Adapted from a James Sallis novel of the same title, Nicolas Winding Refn's Drive is a stylish and ultra-violent thriller which harks back to the 80s through the use of a neon colour scheme, synth soundtrack and LA setting.

Ryan Gosling (Blue Valentine, Lars and the Real Girl, The Notebook) is only known to us as Driver...a strong, silent type who works as a mechanic and stuntman by day, and as a getaway driver at night. He becomes close to his neighbour Irene (Carey Mulligan) and her young son; so much so that after her husband is released from prison he gets himself entangled with the mob in order to protect them.

Although it has been called action, crime etc (elements of these genres are all included), I personally would consider Drive to be a love story, as all of Driver's actions are performed as a result of his feelings for Irene. Gosling has fantastic screen presence in a role which relies heavily on emotion shown through facial expressions and little on speech. We do not learn much about his character, not even his real name, but through several violent actions we see him take we do know he must be pretty crazy. However this does not stop the viewer from seeing him as a heroic figure...which might not have been the same had a different actor been cast. Mulligan is also excellent as usual, adding depth to a part which doesn't have a lot to do. The characters are what make the film. The plot can seem slow at times but this only adds to their development, and acts as a juxtaposition to the brutal killings...which by the way are all very brief but I had to cover my eyes a few times!

A special mention should also be given to its electronic score, written by Cliff Martinez, as well as the colourful, eye catching, cinematography. Combined these elements make up an extremely classy and cool piece of cinema.

Drive has been named the best film of 2011 by many, does it live up to the hype? Not entirely, but the performances and soundtrack give Refn's film an edge which most others from the last 12 months have been missing. 3.5/5

EXTRAS:
Q+A with the Director
Theatrical Trailer
TV Spot
Gallery

Three short reviews of 1970's classics.

Bonnie and Clyde 

Bonnie and Clyde was released in 1967 and is marked as the film that laid the foundations for the American New Wave movement. The basis of the film is a ‘Road Movie’ about a young couple (Bonnie and Clyde) who go on a bank-robbing spree across several southern states in the United States of America. There are numerous reasons that this film became such a milestone in American cinema. These range from our simple fascination with the couple’s relationship, to their celebrity criminal position in society. One of the most important aspects of this film is the constant struggle against ‘The Man’ and traditional values. Examples of this can be seen throughout the film, as in, for instance, the way in which they describe their robberies as if they are doing the public a favour. This is then emphasised later in the film when, during a robbery, Clyde asks a man whose money he is holding. When the man replies it is his own and not the bank’s, Clyde tells him to keep his money. The continual disregard for the Law can be seen many times in the film, whether it’s killing policemen in a shoot-out, or having their picture taken with a policeman they have captured. This kind of behaviour not only showed a complete disregard for the law, but also found empathy with the youth of the day. This is contextually important due to the political unrest felt at that time. This was also released when traditional values were slowly becoming less influential, as reflected in Bonnie and Clyde’s whirlwind romance, and the audience’s fascination with the justice and integrity of being on the wrong side of the law.

Coupled with the issues brought forward in the script, the film was also extremely well shot. One example of this is when Bonnie and Clyde first meet and the camera follows them along the side of the road. As Clyde reveals his criminal past, Bonnie stops and questions him, which is followed by very direct and honest answer from Clyde. Every time an important discovery is made, the camera stops and allows the viewer time to absorb what has been said. There is also very minimal music in the film, other than the chase scenes, which are accompanied by a banjo-based score. This helps as otherwise the chase scenes would seem very tense, but along with the banjo music the audience is left feeling as if the chase scenes are almost fun and entertaining and have the same level of enjoyment as ‘The Barrow Gang’, which includes Bonnie, Clyde, his brother and wife and a mechanic they picked up on the way.

Bonnie and Clyde is an extremely well produced piece covering issues such as integrity and violence. It has provided foundations for films such as Dog Day Afternoon, Natural Born Killers and Thelma and Louise with the clever use of sympathetic, ‘celebrity’ criminals. Alongside this the ever-changing tempo of comedy and brutality provides the audience with an unpredictable yet engrossing film.


Taxi Driver

The script for Taxi Driver was first developed in 1970 by scriptwriter Paul Schrader during a time of societal collapse in America. Heavily influenced by the 1959 film The Searchers, starring John Wayne, we follow a Vietnam veteran as he attempts to ‘clean up the streets’. The main theme of the film is the feeling of isolation of the main character Travis Bickle (Robert De Niro). After starting a job as a night shift taxi driver, we are introduced to New York through the eyes of a taxi driver as he becomes more unbalanced and enraged with his surroundings. His thoughts and emotions are narrated by the character throughout the film, adding to the isolation. The most memorable scene, which was unscripted, involves Bickle talking to himself in the mirror. This sums up one of his main problems in the film; a lack of social contact. Up until this point we observe Travis fail in various social situations, including taking a girl to an adult movie on a first date, trying to talk to a political candidate but only intimidating him and trying to befriend a twelve year old prostitute but scaring her away. As we watch Travis fail these various attempts, he becomes more introverted, and ends up planning an assassination attempt on a political candidate, which ends unsuccessfully. He then decides that in order to improve the world around him, he must rescue the aforementioned prostitute from her pimp. This ends in a ruthless and bloody gun battle, in which Travis is shot several times. The film touches on many social issues, such as the political unrest felt by the majority of Americans at that time in addition to prostitution and the moral arguments surrounding it. We also see Travis’ feelings towards black people by two careful long shots, set inside a diner, whereby Travis stares at the person who is dressed like a ‘pimp’. This scene also helps to reiterate Travis’ isolation as we see him

Coupled with the script, innovative production techniques are used, such as slow motion and clever subjective point of view shots. As the taxicab travels around the city we see the car moving in real time, but when we shift to Travis’ point of view the world is shown in slow motion, which shows us his sharp grasp of the environment is through slow motion. Additionally the music (scored by the legendary Bernard Herrmann) sets the mood most effectively by jumping from laid-back jazz infused melodies, adding to the sleazy images on screen, to darker, more brass and lower woodwind pieces, as the film becomes darker itself.

The film has been critically acclaimed worldwide and was nominated for 18 awards, winning nine of them, when it was released. Although disturbing in parts, the film is still as relevant today as it was in 1976 thanks partly to the films diverse range of characters and issues.


Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song

The film Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song is a seminal piece released in January of 1971. It marked a major change in sociological filmmaking. The man behind the film, Melvin Van Peebles, wrote, directed, scored and starred in the picture, which was funded partly by the success of his previous film Watermelon Man and his claim that Sweet Sweetbacks was to be an ‘Adult’ film. The importance of this film came mainly from the explosion of the Blaxploitation era; having been released in only two cinemas (Detroit and Atlanta), it had grossed over $15 million by the end of 1971. This made way for black-cast films as well as black-directed films such as Shaft.

Issues that are dealt with in the film cover a multitude of civil-rights based ideologies. From the beginning of the film we are told that the main stars are ‘The Black Community’. This clearly states the film’s intentions and target audience. There are also two very important quotes at the start that establish the tone of the film:

‘Sire, these lines are not a homage to brutality that the artist has invented, but a hymn from the mouth of reality’ (Traditional Prologue of the Dark Age).

“This film is dedicated to all the Brothers and Sisters who had enough of the Man.” (Van Peebles, 1971).

Although very frank, these two quotes sum up the mood of the film, which deals with racial oppression, realistically as well as brutally. The film goes on to show Sweet Sweetback, turning from a youth into a young man, which introduces the main body of the story. This begins with the police finding the body of a dead black man in the area. In order for the police to appear as if they are doing their jobs they ask Sweetback to escort them to the police station. On the way to the station they arrest another young black man whom they then proceed to beat to make it seem like he struggled, Sweetback then retaliates by assaulting the two policemen. This leads the way for the basis of the film, which follows Sweetback fleeing from the police. During this episode, he manages to escape the police twice mainly through sex and violence, as well as being helped by a ‘Hell’s Angels’ gang.

The film acquired mixed reviews, some believing it created a hyper real version of the ‘Ghetto’ and portrayed an unrealistic, selfish, hero whilst others saw it as an eye-opening social triumph. Although the film does entertain the use of stereotypes, it also allowed the breakthrough of a completely new genre and style of filmmaking. With innovative production techniques and a contemporary soulful soundtrack, Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song was and still is a revolutionary film.

2011 - RALPH'S BOTTOM 10 OF THE YEAR

In bringing my mini-retrospective look of 2011 to a close, I present to you the 10 most painful cinematic experiences I had to suffer through from their hopeful beginnings to their bitter ends. Before I get cracking though; the following list of infamous pieces have failed to make the final 10 for the singular reason that I haven't opted to torture myself with them.

They are (in no particular order & with their horrible-looking trailers)...Beastly, Film Socialisme, The Human Centipede 2, Spy Kids : All The Time In The World In 4D, Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son, Horrid Henry The Movie, Drive Angry, The Smurfs, Shark Night 3D, 3D Sex & Zen : Extreme Ecstasy, Honey 2, Monte Carlo, Love's Kitchen, Zookeeper, Glee : The 3D Concert Movie, Hop, Season Of The Witch, Red Riding Hood, The Dilemma, Trespass, Conan The Barbarian, Mars Needs Moms and New Year's Eve.

As for the one's I did sit through? Let the agony commence!

10. YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER

(USA/UK, Woody Allen)

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

A bunch of over-privileged, deeply annoying, imbecilic twits (most of which are writers of course) constantly moan about how unhappy their lives are and seek to have a fling with someone other than their own partner. Basically the kind of thing Woody Allen has done to death throughout his career.

WHY IT SUCKS

Even though it's infinitely better than the repulsive Whatever Works (my absolute worst of 2010) & the latter released Midnight In Paris marked a big improvement; this defines the type of tiresome effort that's dominated Allen's recent output thanks to his insistence on quantity at the expense of quality; leading to a character assemble that's devoid of believability, humour or sympathy.

TRAILER LINK (IF YOU DARE!!!)

9. THE HANGOVER : PART TWO

(USA, Todd Philips)

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

The first one; but set in Thailand with the added bonus of racism, nastier forms of misogyny & a drug dealing monkey who can mime the art of giving a blowjob.

WHY IT SUCKS

Rehashing the plot beats may have worked (to an extent) for Home Alone 2, but that same approach here is shockingly lazy. It's not helped either that Philips's idea of raising the comedic stakes is to be increasingly tasteless and represent the natives of Thailand as nothing more than monks, criminals, xenophobic businessmen and transsexual prostitutes. God only knows what he'll dream up for the very much expected, self-importantly titled Part Three.

TRAILER LINK (IF YOU DARE!!!)

8. YOGI BEAR

(USA, Eric Brevig)

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

A couple of crudely-animated CGI bears who enjoy eating the contents of picnic baskets rather than the customers of Jellystone Park, join forces with the constipated-fixated park ranger to stop some evil entrepreneur relocating their home to a traffic roundabout.

WHY IT SUCKS

Never mind the fact it suggests a weird-looking bug is much more of a unique scientific discovery to a film-maker than a pair of talking bears with the ability to water-ski; it's a colourless, lifeless children's film that'll bore children and infuriate adults.

TRAILER LINK (IF YOU DARE!!!)

7. TRANSFORMERS : DARK OF THE MOON

(USA, Michael Bay)

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

Robots hit each other. Shia Lebeouf corrupts the soul. Michael Bay ogles Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. John Malkovich, John Turturro & Frances McDormid look on in embarrassment. Jesus weeps.

WHY IT SUCKS

It continues to urinate over the childhood memories of anyone who had many happy times playing with the toys, it further illustrates that Bay couldn't direct traffic (never mind a film) & is further proof that Shia Lebeouf must be destroyed. Still, it's a massive step-up from Revenge Of The Fallen!

TRAILER LINK (IF YOU DARE!!!)

6. THE GREEN LANTERN

(USA, Martin Campbell)

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

Ryan Reynolds joins an illustrious group of individuals who've been the leading men in an utterly disastrous superhero flick.

WHY IT SUCKS

Campbell may have brought a lot of fun to Bond & Zorro, but there's none to be had here. It's an adaptation devoid of any interest to or passion from the source material that's thirty minutes behind the audience all the time and aside from Mark Strong's face, is plagued by some appalling CGI.

TRAILER LINK (IF YOU DARE!!!)

5. BATTLE : LOS ANGELES

(USA, Jonathan Liebesman)

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

Aliens invade the worlds major cities after hearing we like a bit of Modern Warfare. Sadly they didn't realise we only meant the computer game.

WHY IT SUCKS

First person shooters are fantastic fun to play, but they are bone-crushingly dull to watch. The same rule applies here, which is a shame as the teaser trailer suggested a lot of promise which it sadly never threatened to deliver.

TRAILER LINK (which is actually pretty good)

4. SUCKER PUNCH

(USA, Zack Snyder)

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

Zack Snyder watches Inception and is inspired to make his own; but confuses a science fiction story based within the architecture of the mind with a teenage boy's wet dream.

WHY IT SUCKS

Not only are its sexual politics extremely ill-advised, it's also monumentally stupid to the point that attempting to analyse its meaning becomes an exercise in buffoonery.

TRAILER LINK (IF YOU DARE!!!)

3. HAPPY FEET TWO

(USA, George Miller)

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

Penguins sing and dance, then get stuck by the ever-shifting polar landscape. Sadly, none of them die horribly and painfully or otherwise.

WHY IT SUCKS

It presents the best case yet that the melting of the polar ice caps would actually be a good thing. Furthermore; it's the kind of disposable, poisonous garbage that will coerce kids to a life of accepting mediocrity and become avid fans of MTV Cribs, The Only Way Is Essex & The X-Factor. If you're questioning what's wrong with that, then you're already beyond saving.

TRAILER LINK (IF YOU DARE!!!)

2. YOUR HIGHNESS

(USA, David Gordon Green)

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

The Princess Diaries; but with crude "humour", no heart and a cast enjoying themselves far more than the spectator ever will.

WHY IT SUCKS

A grown-up take on the aforementioned fantasy wasn't necessarily a bad idea; but the usage of relentless post-modern swearing in a medieval context alongside the inclusion of a paedophilic Yoda-like creature created an atrocious one. I'm reliably informed that Danny McBride's television series Eastbound & Down is pure comedy gold; the only thing however he's prospering for here is solid manure.

TRAILER LINK (IF YOU DARE!!!)

1. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN : ON STRANGER TIDES

(USA, Rob Marshall)

WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

Your guess is as good as mine, but it vaguely involves some pirate folk setting sail for an island containing the prospect of immortality to which they all want for reasons they never bother to explain. Meanwhile; Johnny Depp's bank balance becomes larger than the GDP of an African country, whilst the rest of the world slips into a deep coma.

WHY IT SUCKS

There have been films far more offensive or ill-advised from 2011; but NONE of them matched that sinking feeling of relentless boredom that this complete snorefest of a feature offered. A film so tedious that if it were a boat the waves of yawning amongst the audience would cause the auditorium to capsize. It has a cast full of very fine performers yet wastes each and every one of them. It had a colossal budget of mind boggling numbers yet you'll have no idea exactly where that money was spent. It has such a plodding & paper-thin plot it would barely fit onto the back of a crisp packet - never mind a 150 page script. Worst of all; it is free of the burden of Orlando Bland and Keira Shiteley yet still manages to be the worst AND longest Pirates film to date. At least offensive films are able to provoke a response, this on the other hand provokes absolutely nothing.

TRAILER LINK (IF YOU DARE!!!)