The Anti-Oscars

It’s not often an Adam Sandler movie gets me thinking. I find it hard enough to even entertain the idea of watching him in anything that isn’t Happy Gilmore. But as many people out there in Literally Geeking land will know, thanks to relentless TV adverts, he has a new movie coming out called Jack and Jill (creative), and from what I can ascertain it’s about a male transvestite prostitute with split personality disorder that Al Pacino picks up and who subsequently begins to destroy his home.

Perhaps it’s based on a true story

So Jill Sandler destroys Al Pacino’s Academy Award playing a bit of stickball, although I’m sure we’re all thinking that Pacino had a different game of stickball in mind eh? Ordinarily that kind of thing would be heartbreaking for an actor but I have a feeling Pacino knew he deserved it. Not for picking up an ugly male cross dresser, we’ve all been there, but because he wasn’t allowed to hand his Oscar back after he attended the screening for ‘The Recruit’. I mean for the sake of ever letting myself watch Scarface again he must have tried to...he had to.

Little ironic that he won the damn thing

for ‘Scent of a Woman’ eh?

Now whilst I agree that he earned that Oscar for making Chris O’Donnell cry,  I just don’t think Razzies go far enough to punish his later choices. What we really need is an all new anti-award ceremony to take away Oscars from the actors who go on to make the kinds of lame movies only toddlers and serious meth addicts could enjoy or the ones that completely rely on star power and shrewd advertising to even get people to show up.

So in no particular order here are the “Winners” of  my 

‘Take that Award and Shove it up Your Pooper’ 

– Former Best Actors Edition of Anti-Oscars

Dustin Hoffman

I’m going to have to call bullshit on ‘Sphere’ and take back one of your Oscars. Only out of pure pity will I let you keep your other one after your involvement in the Focker franchise. Honestly I’d rather believe that Tom Cruise converted you to Scientology and that you’d spent the last 20 years building your own personal space ship than that you went on to make that putrid science fiction drivel...oh wait...nevermind. 

Robert De Niro

I’m sensing a Focker pattern here but no. One of your two Oscars is getting sold for scrap to repay me for the Shitfest that was ‘Limitless’. Ok I didn’t actually pay to see it but in a way I did, I paid for it with every dead braincell that movie gave me. Maybe you could try some of those smarty sugar pills before deciding on what to be in next time.

Anthony Hopkins

I wish I could take your Oscar off of you for work prior to receiving your Silence of the Lambs accolade but it wouldn’t be sporting and neither would picking on you for your Mission Impossible 2 Crapeo. Even if all that black paint in Othello was just incredibly painful to look at and gave me absolutely no interest in the Bard. No I’m taking yours for ‘Instinct’. We had to sit there waiting for you to say a line for an hour, to say I was bored is to understate the matter. I’m glad you ran off back into the jungle you dull hippy.

Ben Kingsley

Ghandi was great, truly great! So what the fuck were you doing in Prince of Persia? No good has ever come from a video game movie and I don’t believe you needed the money for Oscar polish and you definitely wont in a minute. If only the sands of time could take me back to before I saw that movie and let me slide my throat along the blade before I saw you shame yourself.

Nicolas Cage

Just everything. How the hell did you even get an Oscar for 'Leaving Las Vegas'? They could have told me I'd be watching Nicolas Cage's actual life and I wouldn't have twigged it wasn't reality TV till the credits rolled.  As for your recent movies. Do you accept scripts by having them thrown at you and seeing what sticks? You batshitty movie whore!

Geoffrey Rush

Whatever reason you had for voicing a part in Green Lantern will never be good enough. That film tore a hole in the fabric of the established Green Lantern Universe and just being a part of it is enough to convince any hitman who ever owned a comic to hunt you down for less than the cost of that guy in ‘Faster’(someone give The Rock an Oscar). But I’d do it for free, except to Reynolds, that man is hot and is forgiven.

Feel free to suggest others in the comments. But please...keep it hateful and full of bile.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Hunter S. Thompson: a genius known for his crazy Gonzo-style journalism, love of booze, hallucinogenics and guns, and his forages into politics; has been depicted in film both directly and indirectly - most recently in The Rum Diary, released on DVD on March 5th.

I first came to be aware of Thomson through Johnny Depp's portrayal of him (under the persona of 'Raoul Duke') in Terry Gilliam's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. A film both hilarious and slightly unnerving, as it shows the dark side of the glitzy Las Vegas. What made this film so special was Depp's over the top performance...although he was not characterising Thomson himself per se, and without having read any of Thomson's work I still felt as if I knew much about his personality. After reading the text it was made clear to me that he was quite a character, and the cartoon images which adorned the covers of his books really seemed to reflect how he had come to be recognised.

My next encounter was the 1980 film Where the Buffalo Roam, starring Bill Murry as Thomson, and concentrating mainly on the 1972 presidential election. Although Thomson himself is said to have disliked this film, I thought Murry did an excellent job at playing the man behind the caricature persona, capturing his mannerisms to perfection.

Eventually, after his unfortunate suicide in 2005, the documentary Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thomson was released. This was narrated by Depp and included footage of Thomson from his best years, along with touching anecdotes from friends such as former president Jimmy Carter. Gonzo provided a great insight to the person Hunter really was, showing both his wild and softer side...as well as highlighting how much he meant and how greatly he is missed by those interviewed.

This brings us to the latest adaptation, The Rum Diary. Whilst not actually playing Thomson, Depp (again) takes another stab at his work. Noticeably, Depp uses the same accent as he does in Fear and Loathing, though his overall performance is flat and wooden. The film looks beautiful against the Puerto Rican landscape, but ultimately is a poor and unimaginative take on one of the smartest, funniest and original writers of the last century.

My Week With Marilyn Q+A: Kenneth Branagh

Ahead of the upcoming Academy Awards ceremony, here is an interview with Kenneth Branagh on My Week With Marilyn - of which he is nominated for 'Best Supporting Actor in a Supporting Role', courtesy of ArcLight:

2012 PREVIEW: PROMETHEUS

My first and strongest love is science fiction. It saddens me then that the last few years have been a bereft of high caliber science fiction movies. I suppose all the big bucks are in comic book adaptations like the Dark Knight franchise or the ever expanding Marvel universe When I first heard that Ridley Scott was returning to the Alien universe I was cautiously excited. Ridley Scott is a master of his art and he has made some of the greatest science fiction movies of all time (Blade Runner and the original Alien) however I feel like he has been treading water stylistically in recent years with films ranging from the average (Body of Lies) to the downright terrible (Robin Hood). The Alien franchise itself has let me down pretty badly over the last few years as well by becoming a watered down parody of itself in those bloody awful AVP movies. Then, on Dec 22nd, I saw the official teaser trailer and I almost wet myself.

This movie looks amazing. Scott has assembled a stellar cast including Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender and Guy Pierce. The design looks gobsmacking. The tone looks dark, scary and above all serious. Writer Damon Lindelof has stated that while the story is set in the same universe as the Alien franchise it is not a true prequel. Perhaps we should not be expecting to see any chest bursters on this one then. However with the fleeting appearance of the space jockey and the title animation echoing Alien's title sequence it is clear that the connections are there. Scott is working hard on this, presenting Fox with a PG-13 cut as well as an R Rated one. Fingers crossed, this summer I could get the high caliber, high concept science fiction flick that I have been yearning for.

A No Brainer

After seeing “Coriolanus”, “The Artist” and “Margin Call” in the last week, my head was aching for something I didn’t need to think about, and with the movie “Haywire” that’s exactly what it is. You can pop your brain out of its leaky bag and place it on the bedside table because you really won’t need it. Predictable, straightforward and action packed with a dubious cameo from Michael Douglas (but it’s great to see him looking great after his health issues) “Haywire” is everything you can imagine to be. Not exactly breaking the mould with the betrayed-agent-on-the-run-gets-revenge story, “Haywire” is about Mallory Kane, a woman who carries out various covert operations for the benefit of the U.S. government, but guess what – she’s betrayed! Shock horror! Then follows the predictable kicking of ass (there is an element of pleasure in seeing Channing Tatum get beaten up) before the eventual redemption at the end.

("God damn you Ewan for refusing to do the sequel to Trainspotting!")

Former kick-boxing champ Gina Carano is a great lead, with strong support from Michael Fassbender (already a contender for my actor of 2012) and Ewan McGregor, this film is easy on the mind and the eyes. In the flurry of Oscar nominations (no “Drive”? no “Shame”?) this is one film that won’t be getting any awards but deserves a watch. Good for a Friday night at the cinema but nothing more. 6.5/10

The sound of silence

Apologies for delay in this review as I know the film has been out for a couple of weeks now.

The Artist concerns a silent movie star at the height of his career and the trials and tribulations of moving into sound based movies or 'talkies'.
We also witness the relationship between the main star, George Valentin and Peppy Miller and up and coming actress, who was made for the big screen. As she flourishes in the advent of 'talkies' we see George lose everything as his career falls apart.
What sets this apart from other romantic comedy dramas...everything. The fact that it is shot in black and white and a mainly silent film are the obvious choices but alongside this you have the acting for starters. Jean (George) has one of the most infectious smiles I've seen in a long time and brilliantly conveys the charm and pride he feels whilst at the top of his game. Then you have Berenice (Peppy), whose love for George gives us a sense of hope throughout the film, alongside her fun nature and innocence within the filmmaking business add to the feel good element of the film.
I also really appreciated the cinematography throughout the film. There was a couple of extremely clever camera moves but for the most part it was just very well composed, almost photographically at times with the editing backing up the well placed shots. The score should also get a mention, as this at times acts as, as much of a storyteller as the narrative itself. Brilliantly composed, heartbreaking at times and it will have you reaching for your tap shoes by the end.
In general the story itself is cleverly put together with some stand out scenes that take the essence of silent movies with out being too over the top. A couple of scenes which stand out in which Peppy tries on Georges Jacket in his dressing room and when the two have a 'dance off' on either side of a background sheet from the set.
I feel I have to mention the dog in the film, as he seems to be as popular as the film itself. Without doubt one of the best dog characters in a film since...Beethoven, adding cleverly to the comedy as well as the drama.
All in all The Artist is an original film in every sense of the word and reminds us that even a simple romantic premise can still reach every emotion the audience has at the ready.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Q+A's

As one of the most acclaimed films from 2011 is released on DVD next week, here are some Q+A videos of the cast and director courtesy of ArcLight: