5 Actors That Made Men Hit the Gym...Part 2

4. Ryan Reynolds 

When Ryan Reynolds first gleaned onto my radar he was wearing no trousers and trying to get AIDS from Tara Reid. He’s come a long way from Van Wilder and for a while he was truly a Mans Man when he was trying to pass along those AIDS to Scarlett Johansen. 

“AIDS’ answer to Typhoid Mary”

But when did the now clearly homosexual Ryan Reynolds bitch slap us with his huge penis and how many of us wanted him to do it again just because we knew where it’d been. The answer as many of you will have guessed is not that bastardised X-Men spinoff but Blade Trinity. No I’m not kidding and yes it came before The Amityville Horror. 

Ryan had been working out quite hard to transform himself for the truly weighty and gritty role of Hannibal King and gained a fantastic 25lbs of meat steak, but...Nobody really cared...except for...  THE ENTIRE INTERNET, which devoted entire pieces to just one of his glorious abdominal muscles and pettily accused him of getting implants like some floozy with daddy issues and a dependency on sperm, although we may have to revisit that assessment given recent events. 

His transformation was so profound that we discovered how much of a Mans Man Ryan truly was. He didn’t just develop a six-pack. He went straight out and picked up 3 six-packs because only a girly man drinks alone and only a little bitch drinks two beers before driving home. Ryan stocked up his fridge just in case a mate dropped by for a totally straight three-way.

 "I must draw you”

Other than that the only thing Blade Trinity succeeded in doing was increasing the income of the famous vampire hunter and landing him in prison for tax evasion. As a result it’s been Twilight Princess for what feels like a Vampiric eternity. We can only hope he comes out with Prison muscles and mistakes Robert Pattinson’s glittering for a shower with Ryan Reynolds in it.

Part 3....at some point.